We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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