You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
