Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
