My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
