my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
