I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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