it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize