it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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