Princesses don't give blow jobs
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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