Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize