im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
