I wanna bring you to show and tell
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
