billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
