she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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