it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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