do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
