If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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