omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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