Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
