I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
