So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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