wrigley field is MILF paradise
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
