I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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