it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
