sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
