You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
