I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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