Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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