You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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