Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
