I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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