Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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