so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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