my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
