Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
