Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
