i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
