I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
