doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Found the puke drawer
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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