I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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