This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
