Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
