While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
