I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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