I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
