I hate your face
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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