I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
