jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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