I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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