So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
