I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
