The maid of honor just puked.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
COCAINE IS GR8
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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