I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
