I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
