Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my phone needs a breathalizer
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
