He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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