I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We're too hungover to prance.
You were trust falling into bushes
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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