I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i out mim tonsoeep
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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