I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
